Boris

''This article is about Base Form Boris. To see detailed pages about Boris' specific forms and transformations, see Boris (Disambiguation)''"'I like thots. They do things.' - Unknown heraldic comment, causing planetwide evacuation to Mars"Boris is the codename given to an ancient Thetan superweapon who awoke during the end of the Cretaceous period, simultaneously detonating with an explosive yield of 100 million megatons, destroying 75% of all life on Planet Earth. With this event, the Mesozoic Era ended, and the Cenozoic Era began, also known as the Boris Era.

Worship of Boris as a deity is governed by the Church of Der Boris, where prospective members are sorted into various levels of education depending on their understanding of the faith and their roles in the imminent approachment of the all-powerful Omega Destiny.

Boris is quite possibly the most powerful creature in the universe, having historically surpassed creatures of then-unparalleled strength with little to no effort, and has demonstrated the ability to survive in completely uninhabitable environments, being able to breath in the deep vacuum of space and survive temperatures up to 500 million kelvin.

Biography
Boris was developed as a high-yield thermonuclear device by Xenu, the dictator of the galactic confederancy. His purpose was to be detonated over billions of Xenu's alien species as they were placed around volcanoes on Earth (then known as Teegeeack) in order for them to be ascended into ancient Thetan entities. After this event, Boris, having spent most of his power, entered a state of hibernation for a period of 75 million years, during which his internal tobacco-battery (the TOBACCERY) absorbed trace amounts of alkaloid nicotine from the nightshade plants around his resting place.

Boris' revival is heavily censored by the United World Governments (UWG), having been covered up by what is now known as the Chicxulub meteorite impact. The truth of the situation, however, was that when the TOBACCERY had absorbed enough nicotine, Boris' startup procedure released an amount of energy equal to 100 million megatons, sundering the Earth and killing much of the planet's life. This event is known to the secret circles of the world as the 'BORIS-1' incident. It was not until the 1940s when Boris' startup procedure was completed, and he awoke once more.

Boris, in his weakened state after awakening, was swiftly captured by the UWG, who had been awaiting this day, to study Boris' nuclear capabilities. This research came to a head on the 6th and 9th of August, 1945, where the fission mechanism for Boris' internal RDS-46 warhead was decoded, and he was dropped from a modified American B-29 aircraft onto the Japanese cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, killing hundreds of thousands.

After decades of imprisonment, Boris finally escaped the UWG research facility in the late 90s. In order to re-capture Boris, the UWG activated the top-secret CRAB-17 directive, awakening the ancient French entities known as the Bogdanoff twins - ancient pharaoh-like kings from an unknown era with superior genes 50,000 years in the making, who were given instructions to track down and capture the errant Boris.

Part 1 - Beginning of Boris / Reign of the Bog Arcs
Chapters 1-40 of the original Boris manga detail Boris' first foray into the Stock Realm, and his subsequent confrontation with The Bogdanoff Twins, while slowly revealing the overarching goals of the UWG and the Rothschilds to the reader. When Boris escaped from his prison in the UWG research facility in the late 90s, he went into hiding operating as a humble truck driver - a charade he kept up for over 20 years. However, Boris is constantly plagued by visitations and visions of a man who begins to call himself Sminem, who warns Boris that he cannot hide from the UWG forever. Boris is eventually given a job to deliver secret cargo to an unmarked military base in Russia. Upon arriving, it was revealed that the cargo was actually a copied RDS-46 warhead created from Boris' DNA during his time as a UWG prisoner. Knowing that this power could never be replicated once more, Boris destroyed the military base and killed those with knowledge of the RDS-46 warhead's development. He then took the warhead to his home in Worthing and hid it behind the couch. During this time, The Bogdanoff Twins utilised their connections in the Stock Realm to finally track Boris down. After a failed assassination attempt on his life, during which Boris fell unconscious and was shown a prophetic dream regarding his 'true nuclear power', he contacted close friend and apostle Jack and ordered him to detonate the RDS-46 warhead located behind his couch so that its power could never be discovered. Boris then began conducting his own research into The Bogdanoff Twins to better understand their motives. He also performed open-heart surgery on himself in order to become familiarised with the more complicated aspects of his RDS-46 reactor, discovering that it had a secret 'release' mechanism put in place when it was created.

On Sminem's instructions, Boris departed for the Stock Realm using a portal created by his good friend and long-lost relative Bejamin Netanyahu, and faced many enemies on his way to the Great Stock Floor where The Bogdanoff Twins awaited him. At first, Sminem appeared to challenge and hopefully weaken the Bogdanoffs for Boris, but was struck down, realising only afterwards that The Bogdanoff Twins had been silently hoarding all the world's gold for themselves during Boris' adventures through the Stock Realm, including Sminem's own supply, which he needed to supplement his powers. During the Boris v Bogdanoff Twins fight proper, it seems at first as though a similar fate awaits Boris, who initially had trouble keeping up with the Twins' immense speed. However, when all hope seemed lost, Boris revealed that during his time in the Stock Realm, he had finally unlocked the limiter built into his RDS-46 reactor with the help of the late Sminem, and released all of his power at once, resulting in the first ever canon RDS-46 Boris transformation in the series. In this form, Boris easily defeats The Bogdanoff Twins and releases all the world's gold from their evil grasps, leading to much rejoicing. However, in an undisclosed location in Israel, three dark figures discuss the Twins' failure, and forebodingly mention that the battle has only just begun.

Part 2 - The Kingdom of Wojak Arc
After a short hiatus, the Boris manga returned to serialisation, where Boris and the late ghost of Boy Sminem investigate strange happenings in the Stock Realm, uncovering a series of gruesome murders committed solely on Ethereum stockholders. This was considered to be a very filler-heavy arc, as the main antagonist, Wojak, did not actually appear until Chapter 110. Boris' transformation into the legendary RDS-46 (Maximum Output) form, however, was met with spectacular praise. In order to defeat Wojak, whose power was steadily increasing, Boris and Sminem travelled to the furthest reaches of the Stock Realm in search of the ancient Ethereum Bubble, which they intended to pop in order to prevent Wojak from accumulating more power. Once this deed had been accomplished, however, it was revealed that the sudden expulsion of Ethereum energy from Wojack's body resulted in an incredibly devastating transformation - Pink Wojak, who proved to be even stronger than the furthest limits of Boris' RDS-46 form. This forced Boris to manually deactivate the fuel-rod cooling system in his RDS-46 reactor, giving him an incredible boost to his power, but which took an immense toll on his mind and body. In this form, Boris was able to destroy Pink Wojak and bring peace back to the stock market. However, Boris' victory did not come easily, and with the deactivation of his Maximum Output form, he became Depleted Boris and was unable to do anything but cower in his truck for a full year, during which a major hiatus occurred that lasted from 2015-2017.

Part 3 - Golden Awakening Arc
In February of 2017, the Boris manga continued production, and began with Boris' redemption arc, where, with nothing else to do with his time, he begins to conduct research into the inner workings of the stock market in order to find out how The Bogdanoff Twins and Wojak acquired their powers. Boris discovers that he is able to draw on similar power from the gold market, but cannot materialise it into a true powerup until he begins to study the effects that a crisis can have on the gold market. Upon realising the 'truth', Boris suddenly attains a new form: his Gold Experience form, which allows Boris to draw on a source of power separate from his RDS-46 Warhead abilities. Now repleted, Boris leaves his truck for the first time in a year to see how the world has changed.

In the wake of Boris' sudden departure from the world, the forces of the UWG were left to their own devices, during which they conspired to create a weapon specifically designed to counter Boris' abilities. Using the stock-harvesting genes of The Bogdanoff Twins and the memetic potential of Wojak, the masterminds of the UWG were able to create an anti-Boris weapon - a creature of massive stock potential which they named 'Pepe', and released with orders to hunt down and capture or eliminate Boris. This led to one of the earliest antagonist confrontation in the franchise, where Boris and the prototype Pepe duel in Chapter 220, shortly after the hiatus ended, during which Boris' newly-discovered Gold Experience form is powerful enough to force Pepe to retreat. Boris was able to corroborate research with his fellow incels on 4chan.org to uncover the PEP-E project and reveal its anti-Boris potential. He also discovers that Pepe contained a secret anti-Boris serum in its bloodstream, which temporarily disables his RDS-46 powers.

Pepe returns to the UWG, who use the data accumulated during his duel with Boris to modify Pepe's body to more easily acclimate to Boris' new fighting style and radiation-based superpowers. Meanwhile, Boris continues his research into the mysterious power of gold and the potential it has to awaken new powers within him, leading him back once more to the Stock Realm, where he undergoes the Trial of the Golden Warrior in order to acquire an ancient tablet written in an ancient alien tongue. Just as he is about to leave the Stock Realm, however, Boris is once again confronted by Pepe, who has been experimented on to become the formidable Pepe-Prime. A similar battle erupts between the two, during which Pepe-Prime seems to predict and counter every one of Boris' moves, even when he attempts unsuccessfully to access his RDS-46 (Maximum Output) form. Just as Pepe-Prime is about to deal the final blow, however, Boris is confronted by a vision where he discovers the hidden truth on the tablet he acquired during his trials - that the 'truth' he believed in, that gold goes down in a crisis, was actually false, and was told that gold did in fact go up in a crisis instead, revealing that Boris was not using the maximum potential of his Gold Experience form. Pepe-Prime watches in amazement as Boris evolves yet again, and becomes Gold Experience Requiem RDS-46 Boris (GERDS), using the power of gold to accelerate the fission process in his internal reactor, and attaining power as of yet unheard of in the Boris canon, surpassing even that of Sminem in his prime. Using this power, Boris strikes down Pepe-Prime and secures another victory against the UWG.

Prequel Arc: Boris ZERO
The long awaited prequel saga, depicting Boris' true awakening as a being of heightened power. Although this arc does not reveal Boris' true origins, it does cover his rise to power and subsequent imprisonment in UWG prison.

Beginning in Beijing 1989, Boris awakens from hypersleep to discover he is on a strange alien planet, with no signs of any intelligent life. He is shortly accosted by CCP troops in the midst of their very peaceful arrest of troublemakers and hooligans. The young Boris is able to quickly dispatch them, before being approached by a strange old man wearing clown makeup. Telling Boris to call him Old Master, he tells Boris he knows why he is here: Bogdanoff. The name alone unlocks memories in Boris as he begins to remember his task: find the Bogdanoffs and end their market control by any means necessary. As he and the Old Master escape the city amongst the chaos caused by rioters and criminals and not any CCP affiliated units of police or soldiers, Boris grows suspicious of the old man when he catches him taking horse tranquilisers in a McDonalds bathroom. When the old man attempts to teach Boris how to control Dark Matter he refuses, at which point the old man reveals himself to be Sensei Co-codamol, servant of the Chaos Realm. During their fight, Sensei disables Boris, intending to capture him and take him to the Chaos Realm in order to be corrupted, but Boris quickly uses Instant Transmission to flee. When Boris ends up in Ashington he pieces together his memory, while training intensely for his rematch with Co-codamol. Eventually Boris deems his strength sufficient to battle the treacherous old man once again, and he seeks him out in Zanzibar. Unknown to Boris, Sensei Co-codamol has been busy in Boris' absence, and has corrupted the Gold Realm, source of Boris' Power. With burning hatred and rage, Boris harnesses the remaining energy of Gold Realm, carrying it within him as he punches Sensei into the dirt. With the old man temporarily stunned, Boris uses a final Gold Rush to bury his former teacher under 360 metric tons of solid gold. After using the last of his energy, Boris collapses unconscious, at which point United World Government special forces, who had been waiting nearby, captured and incarcerated him in their high security facility in Stockholm. The final panel of the manga depicts the scene just before Boris' escape in the Beginning of Boris arc.

Part 4 - Revelation Arc
With the UWG's military forces thoroughly decimated across the globe, Boris returns to the relatively peaceful life of a humble truck driver, resulting in the 'Boris Saves the Children' and 'Go Go! Afrikaan Roadtrip!' filler arcs. Bonus chapters from the shortly-serialised limited edition copies of the Boris Canon, however, detailed behind-the-scenes plotting by a shadowy individual, heavily implied to be the secretive leader of the UWG and Boris' nemesis: the prime minister of Israel, Benjamin Netanyahu, who ominously mentions taking the situation into his own hands.

Meanwhile, Boy Sminem, who underwent invasive surgery and was consequently resurrected from his fatal encounter with The Bogdanoff Twins, returns to his home dimension, The Stock Realm, and becomes an influential member of its national diet, leading the dimension into an age of golden prosperity. Trouble begins to brew when the hidden Stock Realm super-council discloses a number of secrets to Sminem, including that tremendous swathes of the dimension have been mysteriously vanishing from the fabric of reality, leaving incredibly dangerous NULL-STOCK zones which propogate corruption within the realm. Upon investigating, Sminem comes to the conclusion that the wealthy elite of the world have been financially pressuring prominent bitcoin holders into destroying any hardware storing the cryptocurrency, as well as bribing popular day-trading youtube channels and infiltrating the /r/wallstreetbets subreddit, with the intention of parading that the 'end of cryptocurrency' is nigh and that all consumers are encouraged to destroy any traces of it. This mass exodus of cryptocurrency worldwide causes portions of The Stock Realm - which is an extension of the stock market itself, to vanish into nothingness.

While Sminem rapidly loses power as The Stock Realm collapses, Boris remains completely untouched by these events, as by this point in the manga, he has acquired all of the gold in the known universe and is therefore the only authority who can decide how much it is worth, allowing him to change his power level on a whim. Due to his semi-retirement from pursuing the UWG and acquiring a new phone while forgetting to tell Boy Sminem his new number, the saviour of bitcoin is left completely helpless as the corruption of The Stock Realm reaches critical levels. It is at this point in the manga when Benjamin Netanyahu makes his first physical appearance, challenging Sminem to a duel in an 'all-or-nothing' bid for dominance over The Stock Realm. Tragically, with his powers compromised and without Boris to help him, Sminem is completely crushed by Netanyahu's all-powerful 'Hand of the Free Market' attack, disintigrating him down to the last atom.

With complete control over The Stock Realm, the mass propaganda program presented to the ignorant masses is halted, and cryptocurrency slowly finds its way back into circulation, restoring the dimension and skyrocketing Netanyahu's power level to untold heights. With the Great Will's word carried out to perfection, Netanyahu consults The Akashic Records, now augmented with the infinite power of cryptocurrency, to pinpoint Boris' location, and uses extremely high-level Stock Realm ninjutsu to teleport himself to Boris' exact position: the hilltop ruins of Tel Megiddo. Netanyahu discovers that Boris had caught onto his vile plans long before he was granted dominion over The Stock Realm, and so crossed the border to Israeli soil in preparation for their final battle.

The battle between Boris & Benjamin Netanyahu lasted for thirty days and thirty nights. Both forces were equally matched, even with Boris utilising his sacred Gold Experience Requiem RDS-46 form. During this time, the Earth was destroyed and subsequently reconstituted at least five different times, and it was estimated that some 35 billion people lost their lives as collateral to the showdown. On the dawn of the 31st day, Boris is seen muttering the words, "It looks like I'll have to go all-out just one last time..." before forcefully raising all 32 fuel rods from his internal RDS-46 nuclear reactor, completely removing all inhibitions of nuclear fusion from Boris' internal chemistry, resulting in a recorded 7*10^53 megaton hydrogen-explosion which quickly engulfed the known universe in a blazing hellfire, destroying Benjamin Netanyahu and all traces of the United World Governments.

With all of his power fully expended, Boris drifts in the far reaches of deep space, which has been wiped clean of all matter, observing the singularity created by the final reaction of his RDS-46 warhead rapidly expanding towards him, eventually breaking down at the molecular level as his drifting body is engulfed in a flash of white. In the final panels of the manga in the following chapter, the world is shown to be dominated by peace and happiness, with the implication that Boris has successfully managed to create a universe where there are no Jews.

Part 5 - The Gamestop Incident & Rise of the Final Experiment Arcs
This arc begins the events of the Beta Timeline, in an alternate reality where Boris survived his final encounter with Benjamin Netanyahu.

While Boris and his comrades finally find peace in the Alpha Timeline, multiverse Borises (or Bori) continue to fight for freedom against the transdimensional threat of the United World Governments. On January 11th, 2021, a massive output of stock energy erupts from the dying Gamestop district of The Stock Realm, resulting in the deaths of approximately 500,000 native stock ghosts and stock wizards. This fluctuation and subsequent overflow is publically pinned on the rapid investment in GME by the users of /r/wallstreetbets, however this is simply a coverup for the true story. In reality, the UWG, failing to capture Boris at every opportunity and rapidly losing power following the death of Benjamin Netanyahu, diversifies its efforts into creating a line of genetically-altered households pets using select injections of the powerful Bog blood harvested from the corpses of The Bogdanoff Twins. The experimental treatments are carried out in an unmarked underground UWG testing facility located somehwere below Sri Lanka.

In the process of the experiments, Bog blood is injected into a common household cat, with minimal results aside from the animal losing all hair on its body. While this feline was imprisoned in a holding cell, observation of its behaviour eventually showed the cat developing abnormal intelligence and problem-solving abilities, able to free itself from its confines a total of 7 times during its stay in the testing facility. This subject becomes known as Test Specimen 4098, codenamed B1NGU5 by the researchers. B1NGU5 demonstrated heightened levels of aggression at the mention of Boris, and on January 11th, 2021, was able to escape from the testing facility. Using its inert Bog powers, B1NGU5 interfaced with The Stock Realm and began to search for Boris, at the same time planting a distraction in the form of the deadly Gamestop Incident in order to lure the nuclear messiah to its location.

Boris, having attained an even greater understanding of his powers following a training arc within the Hyperbolic Stock Chamber, uses instant transmission to teleport himself and his sidekick, Boy Sminem, to the site of the incident, where they come face to face with B1NGU5 itself. The experiment reveals that the Bog blood injection caused it to adopt the dormant personality of the deceased Bogdanoff Twins, who had been awaiting this moment since their defeat. What follows is a deadly battle between Boris, Sminem and B1NGU5, resulting in GME stock wavering rapidly and causing the /r/wallstreetbets subreddit to believe that the neo upper-class are attempting a ladder attack on them, bolstering their resolve to hold GME for as long as possible. The residual stock energies from GME give Boris the power he needs to activate his legendary Gold Experience Requiem RDS-46 form, resulting in the swift defeat of B1NGU5, who prophecises in its final moment that The Bogdanoff Twins are fated to return once again, before perishing.

Part 6 - Rage Against the Machine Arc
After the defeat of B1NGU5, Boris returned to a relatively peaceful life in Great Britain using his tuned MAN lorry to deliver payloads across the country. During this time, Boy Sminem, using his influence as a member of the Stock Council, began to restore the damage done to The Stock Realm.

All seemed well. With the defeat of the UWG and its devious shadows finally destroyed, it seemed as though Boris would finally find peace. That was, until Boris received a scrambled radio transmission through the banging stereo of his tuned MAN, instructing him to travel to the US state of Oregon and that a new threat was on the horizon. Boris chose to ignore this warning, at the time too busy with his rapidly accumulating wealth to bother with saving the world once more. This ignorance would prove fatal, however, as in the following months, Boris would be accosted by onlookers as he travelled the globe, accusing him of being the Antichrist. Thoroughly repulsed being approached by so many foreigners, Boris decided to hear out the now months-old radio transmission, changing his course to Oregon.

When Boris finally arrived, he received a phone call from an unknown number, instructing him to wait at the nearest Mcdonalds restaraunt. Hungry from his travels, Boris opened his mouth as he entered the establishment and instantly inhaled 10,000 pounds of raw beef patties, several hundred thousand calories worth of food, only barely satisfying his RDS-46's insatiable need for fuel. After a while, the mysterious stranger contacting Boris revealed himself to be none other than Terry A. Davis, the world's greatest programmer and powerful Schizo-Wizard. Terry warned Boris that the infamous television personality Alex Jones had heard of the UWG's defeat, and swore to take revenge on Boris. To this end, Mr. Jones began using his daytime television show, the Alex Jones Show, to convince his loyal followers that Boris was, in fact, the Antichrist given flesh. Terry warned Boris that, given enough time, Alex Jones would convert his followers into an organisations known as the NEO-UWG, and that he must be stopped.

Using his perfect operating system, TempleOS, and his superior programming abilities, Terry was able to hack into the Alex Jones official website disguised as a retailer wishing to stock Mr. Jones' expensive supplement 'Super Male Vitality', at the same time using the correspondance emails to track Alex Jones' exact location. With his schizoid powers dwindling, Terry told Boris to meet with Alex Jones and prevent him from creating the NEO-UWG while he restored his energy with Mcdonald's Big Macs.

Boris left the establishment to ambush Alex Jones at his exact location - the Oregon State MegaSkyscraper, which Jones had purchased with the donations from his crazed followers. Having trained his RDS-46 powers further, Boris propelled himself skywards with small activations of his reactor, smashing through the penthouse mirrors. Not expecting Boris to have arrived so soon, and without any stock powers of his own, Alex Jones is left helpless as Boris uses his nuclear powers to horribly deform Jones, sending one half of his soul through an incomplete portal to the Stock Realm, warping Alex Jones into a tormented Stock Ghost.

With his duties completed, Boris received another phone call from Terry A. Davis, who congratulates Boris and mentions that now his work is completed, he may finally return to his home planet to serve his alien overlord Xenu. Recognising the name as the one who had first created him, Boris attempts to extract more information from the phone call, but Terry hangs up shortly afterwards, leaving Boris with the knowledge that his extra-terrestrial creator was still out there, plotting his nefarious thetan schemes.

Powers & Abilities
Boris constantly exists in his base form, which is incredibly powerful in its own right. While not optimised for combat encounters, Base Boris has enhanced reflexes and mental aptitudes, allowing him to drive trucks expertly and manage his stock portfolio at the same time. Boris has a number of different forms that have appeared throughout the franchise, some of which are:
 * RDS-46 Boris
 * RDS-46 Boris (Maximum Output)
 * Gold Experience Boris
 * Gold Experience Requiem RDS-46 Boris
 * 'Failed Fuel Rod' RDS-46 Boris (Chernobyl OVA) (non-canon)
 * Ultra Instinct Boris
 * Maximum Rage Boris (non-canon)
 * Orbital Drop Shock Boris (ODSB) (non-canon(?))
 * RDS-37 Boris (Origins of Boris Drama CD)
 * Depleted Boris
 * Devolved Boris
 * Punished Boris (a man denied his balls) (Cock & Ball torture OVA)
 * Evil Boris (Unknown relation - considered to be a separate character entirely)
 * Boris' SCP Entry
 * Sirob
 * Reality Cross Boris
 * 「Stand User: BORIS」

While almost invincible, Boris does display a few noteworthy weaknesses. Apart from his crippling addiction to nicotine, the rare chemical reaction observed between Boris' internal TOBACCERY and Menthol Cigarettes is shown to drain his power severely.

Archived Boris Events (ABE)

 * The Stock Exchange
 * The First Test of the RDS-46 Soviet Era Warhead (prototype)

Church Artifacts

 * The Boris Pheromone
 * The Seed of Boris
 * Borismobile MK II
 * Benson & Hedges Cigarettes

Trivia
In Movie 6: 'Boris: Chugnacock', Boris blitz Thanos, stealing his infinity gauntlet without even breaking a sweat, this canonically makes Boris the fastest character in the MCU.